Because My Husband Is Complaining That I Never Post Anymore

A post. About what? Who the hell knows. Can't think of a thing to say. Except, look at this cool picture of a lizard hanging out in one of my antique tea pots....

He was the entertainment of the evening and afternoon. Well, him and the chocolate high my kids had after Halloween last night and all the candy today.

They were kid-watching and their expressions are remarkably similar to their expressions during the same activity last year - though to me they look like teenagers in comparison. They've grown so much. It's heartbreaking really. It all changes so fast. One of my nieces is old enough to drive and going to her homecoming dance in a ball gown next weekend, while another just graduated from high school and is looking at colleges. I can see the writing on the wall. Just yesterday they were making googly eyes at me and cooing to get my attention, but I wouldn't hold them for fear they'd spit up on me or something. I'm an idiot. What can I say?

My pastor talked about life slipping by today to an aging congregation. I'm the baby there, but I'm in my 40s now. For the first time, I'm getting an inkling that things will change, that this is pretty much the height of my ability - as good as it gets, and not as good as it used to be. It is the first time I feel, just incrementally, slower, not as quick to bounce back, not as adept. I was never exactly a daredevil, but I don't ever remember stepping up onto the angled outer wall of the old fort near our home and worrying that I might lose my footing and fall off. I was on the wall just for an instant, but my insecurity up there was palpable. I felt heavy and clumsy - out of my element. I've never really felt physically out of my element exactly like that before. It's disconcerting to feel that way when I have young children - or perhaps to feel that way at all. I am bothered by it, the thought and the reality of my age, in a way I didn't expect. This is as young as I'm going to be for them. It's been on my mind a lot lately. And now I'm haunting you with it.... Cheers.